Ramblings of an Autistic Therian

Auras and Sythesthesia

2009-04-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

Oh look it's philosophy post.

So this some how got on my brain today as I was working on an Aang painting for the lulz. I was musing to myself about the concept of auras and aural colors. Now my experiance with aural colors is quite limited; mostly delt with in passing with some friends or in rare cases discussed along with other topics of metaphysical origin. Here is my two cents on it.

Auras are obviously present in many living things duh. I believe it combiation of body electric radiation and raditation from qi/prana/lifeforce/whatever. In other words, it's an energy force field, it can recive and give energy and influnce others. Now aural colors and the color of your aura is something if an engmia. There are people that say your aura color is generate by your most dominant chakra point. So, red aural people are based on the root or muldrahara, yellow auras are from the manipura and blue auras are from the vishiuddha (and Katara would probably have orange aura and Aang violet or white :3). That is normally the general rule on aura colors. This has a good guide on auras and color and it's pretty interesting read.

Now the fact that auras have color is normally agreed upon both the reiki community and the new age/psychic community. However, I and someone else tend to disagree on this. Aura colors are nice rule to have when energy working with someone and they are of a ugly muddy red meaning that they are pretty fucking pissed about something. Or a woman might have two aural glows signifying that she is with child (some don't believe this, but there are those that do) these are great indicators and helpful hints. However nothing in this world is that simple.

I believe auras don't really have color. Instead aural readers can't really read auras so their brains compensate but turning the energy into wavelengths that can be interpreated as color. Because of this I believe aura colors can be any color you want it to be. This compensation is what I like to call "Psychic Sythesthesia" our bodies can't really comprehend the information so our minds turn into something else that can be read. This sometimes causes a lot of misinformation, because we can twist the date into anything we want. Not to say this happens to everyone, there are some readers who's Psychic Sythesthesia can help process information and put it our into something that folks can understand. It's like a doctor saying "Well your leg is broken.." instead of saying "You have minor close fracture of the fibula" saying your "Aura is brown" might be a metaphore to "Clean your shit up." I don't believe it is accurate information on the person's over-all aural input, meaning it's color really discribes your mood and psychic talent, but it makes a nifty social tool to give out information.

Other sensory relays such as sound and touch are also Psychic Sythesthesia when it comes to auras since it's again, information being re-routed into something the mind could comprehend. That being said, anyone that believes that auras could be read in that fashion really needs to take such encounters from the these people with a grain of salt. Is your aura really a lovely shade of opaleance indigo with pale pink streaks, or is the hippy new age guy just after your twenty? I've been told my aura is red, indigo, white or purple, why the inconsistancy? Maybe my aura really has no color that humans can detect purely, or maybe the people telling me this is trying to look "special" and "powerful? Who can say?

Now auras can be read, not with touch and texture smell and sight but with simply knowing. Real aura readers don't do this bullshit of how pretty your aura is they can already tell your in a bad mood or pregnant or got that new job, but not by looking at it's color but reading posture, mood, and understand human empathy. A good aura reader doesn't really read auras it just understand how humans act and more or less is good at understanding patterns. Eventually to sucker in the stupid moms with their indigo brats and how much they take care and open their chakras and only eat pure all natural foods, a good people reader will eventually use aura reading and colors and discriptions to get some extra cash. They can't see shit, but any Willow Sunnyface who wants to know how raidant their aura is will certiantly buy his bullshit.

It sounds like our favorite werewolf doesn't buy the concept of psychic powers. While I do believe humans and read and sense energy (I can) I don't believe aura reading is too accurate because of mental misinformation. The concept on mediums though might be vaild, but thats case to case. If there was an medium in a haunted house who said "oh someone is here" and an EMF machine confirms the presents of a grey presense (a ghost) then yes the medium read the echoing energy and or footprint of whomever and science confimed it. However not all mediums can be vaildated, it depends on circumstances though when it come to ghost hunting. Who is the medium, what tools are there and how accurate the information is without giving anything to the medium? Mediums tend to give a living face to the energy there and thats probably why I am attracted to them. Is the information based on Psychic Sythesthesia? That is something I really can say since the energy can be read by machines and confirmed not senstive people. Maybe it is another form of brain mistranslating like bad japanese monster movie.

Whatever the case is take things, with a grain of salt, I tend to be harsher and more skepical to psychic phenomenons since I am therian, and I hear this a lot from the communities. Eventually I start questioning to get facts straight. I questioned my identity for years, I am no stranger to rationality. I don't believe things in face value anymore. Therianthropy made me be honest and help me sort our truth from bullshit.

So I will end this by saying that
-People have amazing mental strength
-People are easily decived
-And Nothing is simple

Anne "the Bard" Cochran

Quantum Mechanics Soul identity and bagles

2008-12-30T13:22:00.000-08:00

Well being a Tuesday normally I rant about Theriantropy or Autism. But I decided to be differant and rant about something else (Trans-post to Autistic Therian on Blogger BTW)

Still on the same tangent, I'm talking about trans-soul, idenitity and all sorts of shit that really doesn't make sense and it's in the "Weird Sophic Shit" in my brain-files. For those out-there who know me, I idenify myself as a therian mostly with combination of Clinical Therianthropy and Spiritual Therianthropy. Translation: wolf-souled of something similar that is manifested through an autistic brain. I believe if I wasn't autistic wired that my therianthropy would have been remained dormant or unseen. Thanks to having a mal-wired brain, I can actually observe therian behaviors. I don't want to lean strictly on C. Therianthropy because that would turn it into something akin to a disorder. However being a shaman, turning it into something fully spiritual discredits a lot of the autie tie-ins. Like my pacing which could be lupine since wolves pace when they are bored. But it also falls into the weird autie spot too. It also makes it less real and even fluffy.

Now looking to other ideas about another part of me. I'm sorta questioning something else. Being also a celestial, though that primarly dormant. I am starting to consider a few options and ideas.

One is that I am poly-souled. I have a wolfhuman soul and a celestial one. Since the celestial feels seprate from the wolf I am not going to say that I am one of those therians that have wings attached to a wolf body because I don't. C. Lupus Arctos, is just C. Lupus Arctos. Since that awaked first that probably going to be my primary and the one that I am most blended too. Whatever the celstial is I am not sure.

Another concept is it might be one of the following:

Walk in of some kind when I was in Centerburg
An Avian therioside that has awakened and is Sun/Contheriopic.
Metaphores.

The first idea is that it's a walkin that showed up when I was in centerburg since thats when the wings were manifesting. However I ruled out it when it's been over four years and if it was walkin it would have left at year two or sooner. I crossed out avian since I haven't been exbiting bird/bat behaviors. The metaphore idea is still out there but since I have some form of freedom and happily married I really don't think it's a need to be free.

So right now the idea that I have celestial soul that manfiest not though my autism which C. Lupus Arctos but though experiances like biking which mimics flight and thunderstorms. Because it's purely spiritual not earthly, it manisfesting though my autism probably unconclusive and not really possible.

There is also the idea that it isn't celestial but something like a phoenix or dragon. Not earthly but not really pseudo-divine. Whatever it is might be distinctly male. Which might explain my bi-gender identity. However C. Lupus Arctos could be a male too however I feel it's more neutral or female-neutral at least .The celestial could be male though. Or have male energy.

Well I hope this helps me in a way that explains shit....

One thing I will never regret.

2008-11-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

As Yule is come next month and passing of Thanksgiving I am feeling a little more aware now(Must be the turkey)

Religion wise I am starting to lean to Asatru, mostly because of Larry Camp who was good friend and an unexcepected teacher. Hopefully I would learn more about faith before I make any commitments to it. From what I know and read as of late, it seems to a faith based on the Old Ways, and family. Since my deep nature as a wolf is to have a pack, find this Path to fill that need. Hopefully when I get into Yule/Mother's Night party I will have bigger understanding. Though core-wise I will always be a "shamanic" person....discovering as of late that I am naturally attuned to the spirit-world/otherworld/whatever. I decided to dig more into. Nate gave me this link to study up on Nordic Shamanism. I am firm believer in Truth Seeking, I think All-Father Odin would agree.

As for the hunk of this essay is more on the concept of "Giving back" and the pagan community. As someone who was once a Christian and a firm believer, I won't regret the summers I spent in Mexico. Missionary work isn't something to be wholey demonized by the secular/Pagan/whatever communities. Missionaries are not what people think they are, at least what I was. I was passionate about my faith years ago. But I shared more food, than scripture, I gave water to the stray dogs and spent hours in the hot sun building houses, in Baja I helped and played with orphaned and abandoned children. I read them pages from the story I was writting. I did my duty not as Christian really since even then even though I was believe I never cared about evanglizing. But my duty as a child of the earth, as a child of Gaia. After all aren't the starved children of shanty-towns both in Mexico, the US and everywhere else, aren't they children of the Earth Mother too? Shouldn't our responsbilty to the Earth Mother, be more than ecology and taking care of her? But her offspring too? How many of those practicing pagans out there say they have ever fed a homeless man, or gave medicine to a sick child?

Many Christians out there are shameless hypocrits. They forgotten the bigger picture and become ego-centric, caring more for themselves. Christians fucked up a good effing portion of the world, or rather the Christo-centric egotism when God doesn't give a rat-ass about the Muslim woman who got raped in downtown, or the gay man who was beated down by skinheads. But it was they who started hospitals, schools, places like "The Salvation Army." At least a few are doing the right thing. I wish their dead-brained, "brothers and sisters" took their lead at least did something except pray to Jesus for MOAR MONEY.

Pagans and other faiths have their own food banks, and charity drives. I know that, I just wish more pagans will stop A) demonizing missionary work and B) Do better than the Christians. If we are better than the hypocrites...

Prove it.

NightStorm

The issues with Clinical Therianthropy

2008-11-25T14:06:00.000-08:00

So I have return to the Werelist (because I am that much of a maschosit) it's on a new fourm but it works anyway moving on.

I've been looking at this post recently and this one as well and I've been thinking?
"Ok so you believe therianthropy to be more of pyscho-neuro issue than something akin to shamanism? Ok fine. Question is? What makes you different the people taking 150 mgs of anti-pyschotics?

The thing that bugs me the most is that people that think that it's "one or the other" tend to ignore the conquences of thinking in one-persective. Thinking it's too spirtual makes it seem more like witchcraft and shamanism and looses touch of the tangiblity of being an animal in human skin thinking too mental, and you turn into a diganosis.

It never "One or the other" it's not that simple. People can't purely clinical or I'll be reconmending medication. Too spiritual makes it seem like a joke. Jesus people, have you heard of the Middle Road. I can be both you know?

Maybe this just be irriated because I don't think my celestial side is a manifestation of being over medicated as child and being autistic.

NightStorm

A is for Apathy..

2008-11-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

dfsdklj

Damn today was nasty. Just metorlogicly speaking at least. It was soggy cold and just nasty.

Saw Mel my job coach, we went over SS stuff kinda nervous but hopeful this is would be a good thing. Still I am getting mix feelings about this

Rational!Anne: Face it, we need the money and with about a 25% chance of ever getting a stable job. We can't go HO HUM something will happen. We've looked for work for over a year it's time to look at other options. This looks promising with this we can help Pat and hopefully don't worry about mom bailing us out.

Guilty!Anne: But, do you think we should do all of this? Are you just being lazy? Couldn't you work harder? We shouldn't give up we need to keep trying to hold to our independance. WORK ANNE!!

Bitter/Apathetic!Anne: Whatever. I guess at the inteview I have to act retardely Autistic. That should be easy right. Nice job dipshit, get SS and you can kiss the idea that you are independant girl good bye

I'm going through with it. But I still feel "Meh" over all. I don't know how everyone is going to take this as well as my father. My husband is supporting me through this. Thank gods

In other news: GUESS WHO BIKED FOUR MILES FOR FUCKING ART SUPPIES

I am awesome that is all...now to convince Patrick of some much needed intimate time.

Like a blind man in an art gallery

2008-10-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

For those who are reading GOS's Avatar Rebirth totally knew what happened. We got fucking led on.

This half-brilliant half-retarded scheme of GOS was lead on the readers both with art and comic that Aori was the avatar. TURNS OUT IT'S BULLSHIT?! Senshi is the avatar. WTF?! D:<

This was met with more WTFing from me then everyone one else who are all like "WATS GOIN' ON GOS?!?!" *face palm* More so that she and her BG artist(who has very little to with the story) Jump on my ass when I asked. "WTF ARE YOU PULLING" -.- down girls down. HOW DARE I BE PUZZLED HOW DARE I!

Anyway the comic is really going to go down hill. I liked Aori thats why I read it. But Senshi can DIAF. He's fucking STU. A BLINDING ephiphet of "BG Artist" fucking love for ZUKO. Senshi=Avatar Zuko. Pacing is totally not doing it for me. Expecially since GOS sorta bullshitted the fans. Also her characters are starting to be predicable. Give it the rest of chapter 2 before I remove GOS from my friends list and wash my eyes out in bleach.

as she whined before when I wasn't glorifying her. "If you don't like my comic Leave" Will do if it sucks anymore.

Nightstorm

Plot lemurs attack!

2008-10-26T07:46:00.000-07:00

I totally blame Abney Park for this. The song "Airship pirate" gave me a plot bunny which has been breeding all last night and I got the best idea to write a fic with Avatar Yangchen (the former air avatar)

So far the working title is called "The Fall of the Elohiem" but I also like "Martyr"

Here is the conversation I had with Pete about it on AIM
This song
SoloBWolf (10:29:54 PM): Wants me to do a fic with war bisons
PeterChameleon (10:30:14 PM): Now, that'd be a unique take. XD I'd like to see it!
SoloBWolf (10:30:37 PM): Like a gang of rouge Air Carvaners that kinda act like Avatarish Sky Pirates
PeterChameleon (10:32:51 PM): Y'know, bad guy airbenders...that actually would be original..
PeterChameleon (10:33:39 PM): Airship pirates...man, this song makes me think of Tailspin...
SoloBWolf (10:34:14 PM): They detach themselves from the Air Nomad culture and use bison like big ass Carriers and gliders as fighers
PeterChameleon (10:35:52 PM): Hmm...wonder how you could write that story. It'd have to be an OC story
SoloBWolf (10:36:10 PM): Well I was thinking it would be set in Avatar Yangchen's time
SoloBWolf (10:36:22 PM): and the main villian would be her older brother
SoloBWolf (10:36:34 PM): Oh damn
SoloBWolf (10:36:41 PM): the plot bunny
SoloBWolf (10:36:47 PM): it's breeding
PeterChameleon (10:39:53 PM): XD DO IT
PeterChameleon (10:40:01 PM): People will so read that
SoloBWolf (10:40:07 PM): Her older brother was cast out the temple along with other benders he's sorta has "lucifer" complex think he should be in charge of the Temples and more progressive. Thus he and many others were thought start massive faction and cause splitting of the culture or somethign like that so he and many others were shunned. So he the men that followed him ralley like minded Airbenders and even a few waterbenders and made some Firebender allies and started doing some shitty but with good attentions. His little sister Yangchen steps in to solve this but she doesn't know what to do...except assinate her brother
SoloBWolf (10:41:23 PM): Oh this is gonna need to be written down
PeterChameleon (10:42:03 PM): Dude, I'd read that
PeterChameleon (10:42:10 PM): That could possibly be epic
SoloBWolf (10:42:48 PM): Mean from what we've seen
SoloBWolf (10:43:00 PM): Yangchen seems to have no regrets on what she did...so it seems
SoloBWolf (10:43:09 PM): She probably killed someone
PeterChameleon (10:43:23 PM): What was her advice to Aang?
PeterChameleon (10:45:03 PM): "Here is my wisdom for you. Selfless duty calls you to sacrifice your own spiritual needs and do whatever it takes to protect the World."
PeterChameleon (10:45:07 PM): ...so I could buy that
SoloBWolf (10:45:44 PM): Oh man thar would be perfect
SoloBWolf (10:45:53 PM): I got a name for the "hero"
PeterChameleon (10:46:13 PM): And it'd actually be different, for once. Having the bad guy be the Air Nomads
SoloBWolf (10:46:30 PM): But here is the thing
PeterChameleon (10:46:34 PM): Not sure if I said it earlier, but the only thing that irritated me about the fan comic you showed me was the fact the Fire Nation were the bad guys again
SoloBWolf (10:46:37 PM): HE THINKS HE DOING SOMETHING GOOD
SoloBWolf (10:46:50 PM): HE NOT THE BAD GUY
PeterChameleon (10:47:08 PM): GRAY GUYS ARE FUN, TOO XD

So the Main guy is going to be named Kridha...it looks so epic right now anyone like idea of a Airbender Sky Pirates?

GODDAMN THE SELF-DX

2008-10-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

Did I ever say I really hate the Self-DX?

Oh for the love-
Fight Torque said
It is estimated that as many as one in a thousand people may have genuine Asperger's, so some people who claim to be autistic may be telling the truth. But I'm quite upset that Solo seems to have decided that since she is autistic, no-one else is special enough to be diagnosed with it.

Where in hells name did I actually say that? Seriously I don't care if fucking Faeryn or Lysia claims to be asperger or what the fuck ever. You just make my "WHOOP WHOOP BS" go off because you fucking sound like every self-pity-whoring Self-DX on AspiesForFreedom. Complete with "it's a gift" sure it's a gift because you never had it disable you. It's done it for me many many times. And I have to go through more consuling to deal with the bullshit. I am not sure I'm still "proud to be Autistic" sometimes. There are days in wish I could do without.

But because you desperatly want validation by the fourm. Fuck fine. You're "special" "Unique" you do not have socialize deficant and often deblitating develmental disorder. Your AS makes you "speshul" and "Full of awesome"

Is that what you fucking want?

Christ on a cracker!

Fighting Torque said:
Here's where my argument may faceplant. I feel like I'm 'growing out' of my Asperger's. I'm becoming more interested in English, and poetry, and art, and other non-logic-based subjects - whereas being into maths and science, as I used to be, is supposedly a strong trait of the condition. I also have a few real friends these days, and god forbid, recently I have even met and socialised and drunk alcohol with them outside of school.

Here is where my BS meter is tripping, You do not grow out of Aspergers. It's not like shirt that doesn't fit you. It's not a bad habit that you have learned to stop doing. It's part of you and it will always be a part of you. It seems you had some social nuances that you have corrected on your own. That isn't AS.

You just bumbling out sterotypicalisms as well like AS people love math and science and logic. Thats a half truth and overly generalize observation. Lets see, my buddie Kelly who is very AS was interested in Anne Frank and history that was big special interest with her. She had a Learning Disablities in Math, My friend Eric who when out with a few times, was a huge Nintendo buff, he was a drafting student. He liked Math but was more into History. Mary Kate was into the Bible and did well in English. And thats just a handful.

And drinking does not make you "normal" if that is the reason you mentioned it I am not sure. I am probably the most bubbly Social nut ball you have ever met when sauced. I go to Cons I go to pagan rituals and gatherings. I still have sensory and social meltdowns Just because I go out and have fun with people does not mean I am "growing out" or less autistic or whatever

But like I said you want to be a "thuper spesul lovable boy" fucking fine!

thanks for totally taking my sarcasm totally out of context.

Shit. I need drink

Resonance

2008-10-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

As of late, Ohio hasn't been reciving a lot of weather, good for some, bad for others. So what happen the other night wasn't surprising.

The thunderstorm gave me a strange resonance when I was on the computer. I personally though it was just the fact that I was sexually frustrated that I was so upset and angry. But as I walked around and or sat in my chair. I realized it wasn't purely sexual it was the storm itself. My wings where stronger and I felt a massive pull to fly, this echoed to my wolf-side and I felt ph-shift with my tail and ears.

This doesn't surprise me, ever since I was wee infant, my parent noticed I was never really afriad or non-chalant with storms. It was a source of energy that I loved and wanted. So for me to really resonate with it was something I expected.

However, to react so strongly to almost a point of meltdown was surprising. Now that I have time to retrospect. I realize it's because of lack of stormy weather that I had such a reaction. When a good storm happened everything was released at once.

Pagan Pride Day

2008-09-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was interesting experiance in social networking and communication. Pagan Pride day or the Columbus Witches Meetup was my attempt on finding community away from A and J. If you remember last time, I had a bad encounter with them. Well A and I have made up or rather I forgave and fogotten. But J....thats another matter. I advoided her but I did make sure to get hugs from Michael her boyfriend.

I saw Liz again who hanged with me until she left D: wait no goodbyes? Damn. I saw Holly and her little boy and girl. DAWWW! I can't wait until I get to be an aunt! (well I am one already....) Moving on, I did some art with two girls who do A LOT of wonderful art. I am so jealous, I left the drumming circle talked to few other people. Met Dave who was my old Reiki instrcutor so that was nuts and awesome! I saw a lot other cool people including Shadow.

The Three cranes is ADF Druid Grove that did a Mabon ritual at the park. It was pretty elaborate...the ritualism sorta brough a memory of mass for some weird reason. Durning the ritual...however. I did have a very strong Ph-shift, or phantom shift, I felt my paws on both my hands (normally it's my left) felt a heavy muzzle and ears, I suppose it was the magic that surrounded area that caused the shift. I am not sure. Something simular happened durning the Full Moon ritual. Hmmm Anyway I had lot of fun got a lot e-mails. I hope to get intouch soon.

Slan!

NightStorm

Constructive Crit and other nonsense

2008-09-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

Look a post that isn't copypasta from my other Journal

Short post is short.

One of my main pet peeves is the concept of "crit without asking" when I show peiece to someone that doesn't know me and decides to give assloads of crit not really "critquing" just ragging. Now that could be taken as a flame however...it's not outright rude. This persons from old RP game that just probably blocked me for no reason *well I am out of her leauge anyway* said this

When you show me art, I think you are asking for my opinion. That's what I do. Let me explain this to you: Critique is not a matter of who's better and who's not. Critique can come from anyone. You need not be so negative. If I was being rude, I would seem OBVIOUSLY rude. I'm not that kind of girl. You CAN accept critique from others of your caliber. It's how you make artist friends online. I don't think you suck, and I'm not shooting you down. I'm saying that you obviously want to improve, like when you told me it was embarrassing to you to be told about your typos. There's no reason to be embarrassed. I make less mistakes than you because I follow the rules of literature. You do your own thing. That's fine, but there are some things that you should still follow when writing, for example, spelling. I have seen you correct yourself, so you obviously do want to improve. I help you by pointing out your mistakes. If I couldn't tolerate it, I'd've stopped in mid-RP and left. I didn't, because you still have good ideas.

Imagination is your forte, like mine; pulling it out onto paper or computer is where you need some help. That's all. Not that you suck; you just need a bit more practice. I know I need practice because I haven't drawn in a while. I know that some of my characters defy physics. You're allow to tell me your opinions, too. You have opinions for a reason. Express them. I don't mind what you say, as long as it helps me. That's what I try to do for you. Note that not the whole world is out to shoot you down.

-From someone that can't draw beans and Crits to over compensate

The whole word is not out to get you. However from someone that draws deformed chibis and writes about 12 cocks and buckets of sperm having to be over crit by you is insulting. I am sorry your opinion does not need to be expressed unless you +2 years of illstrator experiance or is an art student keep your shit to yourself. Thats goes for everyone else. If I want crit I ASK! Don't just hand shit out to me and think you're being helpful. YOU'RE NOT! If you going to crit A) tell me how to fix it or B) show me how to fix it tell me it needs work is NOT HELPFUL. Criting everything I show you is not helpful!

FTR: I <3>

Gah.

NightStorm

Disablity Angst and Sillies

2008-09-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

Hay guys, so it's thursday it's time for the obligtory autism rant.

Have your heard this?

"I can't tell that your autisic"

Has anyone ever told you that? Or something of that ilk? I can't tell that your autistic or "Oh you have _______? Really I couldn't tell" As much as that is suppose to be a complement it's just another slap on the back of the head. It could easily be interpriated as. "Oh you say you have ______ but I can't see the symtoms so I wonder if you are telling they truth."

Now it one thing to question someone online about one's DX since there is no true way to prove you have something on the spectrum. and after being part of Therian Comm. I've learn to be skeptical about people stating they are DX'd or whatever. I believe them if they say that it's offical. But if they are "Self-DX" then I will probably roll my eyes. W/E friend

In RL that kind of question always bugs me. Part of me is kinda please that my symtoms are not as noticeable in public but the other half wonders if I should start stimming or loose eye contact that I have worked on for months to do in converstions. Just to proove I am not BSing.

thats what this comes down to. "Are you shitting me?" Are you really Autistic/Asperger or are one of the many that just "say" they are because they want a reason to why they are the way they are. I keep telling people, I didn't ask to be diagnosis this. I didn't want a reason to why I never fit in. Why I suffer from identiy issues (IE: Therianthropy, and being bigendered) and why I never felt "human" or "part of the group." This is something I struggle every single day, but learn to ignore. Adding on the DX didn't explain shit to me. It just became a catch all for why I was so fucking fucked up. My mother used it as an excuse and her new motto is "You're Autistic Not Stupid!" my step-dad doesn't believe it at all. He just thinks I am a lazy MF. My dad, well. It was kinda like going "oh so thats why we get along so well." My dad is probably AS too. So we're both "llamas" (my euphemism for autistics)

anyway, my DX didn't solve anything it's just now another lable I have to were, and like my other lables I learn to accept and be proud of them. Which brings us back. When people say, "Oh I can't tell." it's frustrating because it feels that because my symtoms aren't noticable it means that I am not vaild to ask for accommedations for my disablitly yes folks I am one of those weird Neurodiver, people who sees my AS as a disablity. Back to topic, everytime I go to interview I feel like I have to hide every single stim, nervous tic or anything, which makes me look like I am hiding something. I don't disclose anymore but I wonder if I should now. But if I do I can kiss my chance of a job goodbye. It's a no win situation really. Even someone that I knew stated. "I wouldn't hire you they way you are now Anne." Thats for the encouragement Jess. <<

Struggling with employment and trying to find a place in this world something that I am stll going through. A DX never helped and I don't know how Self-Dxing is going to help you either. If my symtoms are not noticeable now, I wonder what would happen if you see me with all of them showing?

maybe I should accept the fact that I will never find a job. I am either, not disabled enought for accomendations or...enough to not be worth it.

[/disablity angst]

And now for something completely diffrent...I had very intellegent conversation on the sexual practices of Air Nomads

SoloBWolf: Air Nomad orgies!
Nephandi: Air Nomad orgies? AIR NOMAD ORGIES!!!
SoloBWolf: WHO HOO!
Nephandi: those dudes are totally into the tantra
SoloBWolf: Totally
SoloBWolf: Gyatso was a mad pimp
Nephandi: man would drive women to unconsciousness through multiple orgasm
Nephandi: AND was fucking the Fire Lord's wife
Nephandi: real reason for the massacre of the Air Nomads....???
SoloBWolf: Aang is a pimp-apprentice, Katara is going have mind blowing oragasms when she marries him
Nephandi: some glaciers gonna be shattered by that shit, yeah
SoloBWolf: The reason was Souzin was jealous of Gyatso's mind blowing sex machine. He did Roku too
Nephandi: once Katara gets a little Aang in her, whole fucking South Pole gonna be rearranged
Nephandi: Roku was so the bottom. in both relationships.
SoloBWolf: Word

Yeah we're a little retarded DUUUUURR

With less interesting news:

I was at Greenleaf again talking with Mel, we did the whole "Lets dick around Monster," While I wangst about jobs. God, this turning to a total wangst-fest of retarded drama. After that I waved good bye to Nicole who is dating a gamer-god , I biked down to Cornerstone Cafe and had the portobello melt. OH MY GOD! It's an oragasm on a plate! After an awesome lunch I biked passed Phoenix Books, oh lord...I found a new place to waste money on totally kicks Pearls of wisdom's ass! I finally ended the afternoon by biking through Wallaha. I sat for a moment and listen. Just listening, the rain was music in itsself so I recorded the quiet of a urban haven.

Home now I got a bouquet of flowes from my husband because this is day...I first met him. :3

NightStorm

Moar Rants

2008-08-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

First.

Dear site,

You have a lovely layout, but your site suckes to nagivate through. Also you have ultimatiums...
as much I was want to RP. I would prefer RP in fourm that doesn't intimidate new players.

Love Bard

Also next rant is borderline sarcastic...just warning ya

Soulbonder=/=Otherkin

Just because some socially challenged fifteen year old claims to be a reincarnation of Utena/Sailor Moon/Yuki Sohma/Batman doesn't mean that s/he is part of the otherkin community and therefore all otherkin are batshit crazy weeboos who seriously need a life or sex.

Thats just the Otakus
Otherkin are mostly normal except for online, RL they have jobs, families and do shit like normal folks. Most of them might have huge social issues but the real ones don't fucking advertise and attention horde like the fandom crazed assbitches called "soul-bonders"

Those that do, are not otherkin, they are "fluffies" I called them "Billboards" because they seem to shout it on the top of their lungs.

Otherkin with blogs or websites are fine to some degree as long as they don't join every fucking site to announce who they are. And horde attention like M&Ms (doesn't everyone chronical their meanless lives?)

On the other hand, I hate therians/otherkin who act like it's a fucking taboo. Nobody gives a shit if you think you are the incarnation/spiritualism/ect of a tiger/wolf/panda/mermaid/incubus/ect. As longs as you
A) Don't broadcast and make it a huge deal of it
B) See A

I don't give a fucking shit anymore. If you think I am sad deluded little girl then go ahead. After sitting on the low end of the social spectrum I'm probably am. Unlike the rest of the community I don't try to make something huge and special out of it. There is nothing special about being a therian/otherkin.

Those that believe that they are, want something out of it.

NightStorm

Coffee House gangbang

2008-08-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

I had a interesting experiance...

I was invited for coffee with my friend A. She's a nice lady and I enjoy talking with her and being part of her pagan disscussion group. However when I biked over to Starbucks she invited someone else...we'll call her J.

They gave me hugs and kisses and were sweet but when J left to get coffee, A went on to say that she doesn't want me over at her place after the Friday pagan group. I was hurt. But she explained it was because of my "spells" (I had a meltdown one night) and she wanted me to return once I "got better" I nodded and took the business cards of professional pyscho-therapists and they explained that I need more treatment. J returned and they both..I guess doubled team me on how I am "So smart." and how I can "Do better." I need to get more help went on to say. I felt bombarded and incresingly upset. However I kept a ridged and stony expression. I don't not cry I didn't not raise my voice I did my best job on "Role playing" a calm adult woman. They told me that they liked me and they want me to "get better" (that word again) they explained that I have a "Medical Disorder" and I need help. Slowly my stone-face mask of calm slipping.

At one point I did leave to go re-assess myself since I was starting to fall into meltdown mode. I did a few yoga asanas in the bathroom and told myself "I am earth" to give myself confidence and I returned to a more happy conversation. With jokes and jabs. It was like the previous conversation didn't happen.

So when I biked home I felt so...confused. I figured I screwed up again and I made a mess and that I needed to "grow up" I don't know what I did wrong honestly but this is typical. People yell at me explained to me what needs to be done and I have taught myself not to get emtional and not to start fighting but to agree and nod and listen. Still I just feel...hurt. I doesn't matter since I am going to MatsuriCon and not the Pagan group this friday so I won't see A, but nevertheless I don't know if I should go back.

I wish A would understand my pharmcuical phobia..

NightStorm

Gimick

2008-08-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

It's one thing to protest and walk around the streets speaking your opinions on a matter that is importiant relivent to you.

....

I another to drag your bored eight year old with you to hold sign that has absolutly no meaning to him or doesn't know why he is even here, except to help "Mommy, daddy or grampa."

...

Stop using your child as gimick.

I am all for activism. But unless the child know why he is walking around the streets with sign that says ".....gov' bad" or what not. Keep your kid at home.

I am grateful my mother never used me a gimick for her Pro-Life activism.

NightStorm

FUCKING DEVART!

2008-08-06T19:17:00.000-07:00

Good god two rants in one week

So it has been a long day and after cuddling with my husband and watching CSI I go online and RP I checked Devart to see I have two notes. I was hoping for Commissions since me and hubby are tight this month. No What I see are notes from the DURR!Staff stating that Aether has be Repo'd and BAAALETED.

I was pissed.

I was one of my only Kataang piece in my gallery and it was taken down. I was upset but I relized it was probably my bad for not Mature tagging it. But honestly didn't think I had to since there wasn't anything there.

Also there ages where unknown we can supposed that they are over aged, BUT YOU KNOW THAT NOT GOOD ENOUGHT!

I bet some butthurt Zootarian had to repo'd it can because I was stupid enough to tag it. Fail that I didn't tag it. But for 6 FUCKING MONTHS and like 6 faves and 7 comments later it's gets fucking deleted. GRAH I just know it was for spite. And you know whats funny shit like these two don't get noticed. They are tagged but Chiko is not eighteen

WARNING NOT WORK SAFE AT ALL: Links to protect the virgin eyes from my bad art and boy bits

Chiko Floating

Anatomy Study: Chiko

I admit Aether was sensual but I wasn't going for outright erotism. I admit I should have mature tagged it and I'm asking DA if I can resubmit with a Mature tag. But I am so fucking proud this peice. My first mixed media piece in 4 years

Link again Again I understand how it might breached rules, but for 6 fucking months nobody gave a damn about it. D:

NightStorm

SNARL HISS *GROWL

2008-08-05T16:28:00.000-07:00

Fuck. You.

Seriously Fuck you.

Stop causing drama because I got bored and stopped playing. Yes I didn't tell you in time. Why? Because I was afriad of the drama you are stirring now. Don't tell me to build a bridge and get over it! You're the only one starting drama over it!

FUCK

GROW UP GOD DAMN!

*Angry wolf is angry*

NightStorm

2008-08-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

Dia Duit!

Hey everyone Lol

Yesterday my friend Apirl ninja'd me to the Dublin Irish Festival in Columbus one of the largest in the world. I had a total blast

-Saw awesome Pipe and drum bands
-Saw 10century Irish reinactments.
-saw Irish Wolfhounds which made me Squee <3
-Saw other Irish breed
-Learned some herbal worked
-Heard Irish folk stories
-Learned a little Irish Gaelic
-Listented to Fairy folk stories
-Listened to BAD HAGGIS <3 <3 OMFG Bad Haggis was TO DIE FOR. I after a beer I was dancing alover the stage area. I even met the piper Eric! OMG HE IS CUTE!! To bad I am married. XDD I still had a wonderful time <3 Now here is the hard part I need commissons

Commisson prices

Pencil Sketch: $3
Inked sketch: $4
Color pencil: $5
Computer drawn/or colored: $7
Custom (the works): Please ask for details

E-mail at: SoloNightStorm@Hotmail.com or BardChild@gmail.com

I know this won't work but I really need help D:

NightStorm

I think I smell a Rat

2008-07-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

I think I smell a Rat

Totem Essay by NightStorm

The concept of a totem is rather new to me to be honest. I never really had one, well one that I was aware of. I did have a totemic influence as a child. During my depressing childhood and my parents frustrating divorce, I always felt increasingly lonely and aloof around people. This of course was the time where I discovered my wolfness, but more so, was my kinship to the Owl. That was my first totem looking back on it now. I had a draw to the barn, screech and great horned owls of my neighborhood. I was comforted by their silent wings and wide knowing eyes. I felt that they were watching me. More so through books with owl characters taking care of human children and providing them with wisdom. Part of my young awakening teenager mind, wondered if I was owl therian not a wolf for the longest time.

This of course was not really realized, I never heard of totem or guides and I was too much of a christo-sheep to really research. I did notice the presence of my angel guides. Azulel my careful and cautious, guardian who seem to retort a lot of my actions as young teenager, I discovered him when I first move to Centerburg. I still feel the external and watchful energy of my three angel guides who come and go as they please sometime they will talk to me, but mostly they are silent watchers.

The appearance of Rat was new or rather…just realized. Like owl, I had pull and strong connection to rodents as small child. I sobbed when I saw the broken necks and crushed bodies of mice caught in traps. I loved my fifth grade teacher’s rat Oreo. And I was elated when got to keep and care for my four grade teacher’s gerbil, Bandit. I loved that little creature; she was my first pet and my first inspiration. I carried her everywhere, She lived a good ripe age and even though I mourned her death. I was grateful that she lighted up my life with hers.

Years later I still felt a pull to the rat and its cousins, I even considered a few rodent species my theriotype during my exploration in therianthropy. Even though I came to the conclusion of wolf, I wondered why I felt influenced by rodents, more specifically, rats. This bothered me for a while but instead of dwelling on it and trying to make sense out of it. I pushed aside and continued to explore life. The answer will come to me…it normally does.

Last year, I got my answer; it was the year I got Mrs Brisby. She was a pregnant feeder rat that I rescued from a pet store. Felt that she needed me, that she needed help. So I bought her and help raise her babies, in return, she gave me comfort, friendship and even guidance. I don’t know what happened but the nagging feeling of “rat” was the strongest I ever felt when I had Bris and even when I adopted her cage-mate who still lives with me now, Arjuna. I didn’t know what was going on; even with my roommate’s suggestion that my “rattiness” could be a new theriotype that was awaken by my rats. Or even my “actual” theriotype. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. However…I got the inspiration during a Shadow Run game (yes laugh it up, it was RP that got my attention) what if like my character Brie, I had totem; a Rat totem. So I did some mediation and set myself to Trance, which was hard because I haven’t done that in a long LONG time. Deep in the reaches of my psyche or dreamworld, I felt the energy and confermation I needed. I saw a little silver rat, it was brief but I did glimpse it. With that being all I needed and decided it was fair that I could claim Rat as my totem.

Rat has been a sneaky teacher. She is fast and blunt, she does not beat around the bush, and she has to be straight forward because no one will listen to her anyway. Rat is not a liar; she does not need to lie. She is honest but she is also coy. She will make you work for the answers. Ever resourceful rat taught me to be frugal and to careful with what I buy. She is a survivor and a creature of endurance, something I desperately need. To endure and triumph like the rat. While eagle fly and wolves howl, rat solves. Foxes maybe clever, rats are intelligent. Rat is a problem solver and a strategist, she tells me to think first before I jump she tells me impulsivity will kill others. Recklessness is not a virtue I need to have. I must be withstanding and prudent, I must be ever patient. For this patience I will be paid off in full. Rat waits, rat thinks. Rat lives because she is not foolish enough to rush into danger. Rat is a survivor totem. A totem I need the most. To survive change and times that does try me. I hope that I will continue to learn from Rat.

NightStorm

RP/story universe: Nirvana City

2008-07-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

Base sketch of a universe of mine

~Welcome to wonderful Nirvana City~

What is Nirvana City?

years ago a rift entered the Nevada desert causing dementional gate of somesort. The Nine Stars a organization of Mages harnessed and created an American Avalon a city for both Mundanes and Arcanes. In the seven major districts in this city, regulars joes rub elbows with nagas, satyrs, elves, dryads, mers, Avian Icarians, Drakkhani and centaurs. Nirvana City named for its Enlightened Culture is a haven for the strange and magical protected by a knotwork of powerful Charms this only been seen by a selectful indivuals and the mundanes living there.

What are the districts?

-Taliesin District: Home of artists and musicians, the Nirvana Art Museum is here, there are several swanky gallerys and coffee shops as well as a theater this is Mixed District so Mundanes and Arcanes are seen together

-Roman District: This is Night club district and only for the arcanes Mimirs Well is here as well as Tzechek the Drakkhani bomb shop. This Arcane only and somewhat inner city.

-Kaliya Distict: This is the naga distict, snakefolk are common here and many homes and shops are for nagas, mundanes don't venture here Arcane only

-DaVinci District: Several schools and neighborhoods forthe mundane are here so is the police. Arcanes don't come here unless they have too.

-Lleweyllen District: Richest and most expensive homes are here and this distict is all elf.

-Odyessus District: This is another mundane community many fantics of the Church of Our Savior live here and are very very anti-arcane and has barriers that prevent mythics and arcanes from coming The church is here as well

-Hephestus District: Business distict, several large companies are here the UMA organize here, many mages live here. There are several large Magi based business groups Town Hall is here.

Non disticts

Suburbs: Arcane and mundane blend and live here outside of the City

Athenos Acadmey: An all magical school for the Arcane

Gotama Lake: Mers live here..and communte to the city

Gotama Lake University: A Mundane collage.

What are races here?

Satyrs: Or fauns, are the human/goat people. Friendy fun loving folk they love to socialize and have the best information, they also are the most musical of the Mythics They are in the Taliesin and Romani districts the mosts

Nagas: Half snake half man, theses are very tricky folk and decive others eaisly. They are great for assinations and make good gaurds. They have strong sense of pride and will fight for it. However some are very laid back and easy going they are seen at the Kaliya Distict and Romani

Elves: They have the most power in Nirvana City they control the goverment for both mundanes (though they don't know it) and arcanes they are fair faced and beautiful but powerful mages. Seen all districts

Mers: They keep to themselves underwater or on the shores of Gotama Lake many are amphibious

Centaurs: Honor bound and majestic these are hard workers and laborors. They are noble and proud and will trample any that calls them "a pony" Centaurs are often outside the City however they are found mainly in the Hephestus District.

Icarians: Bird folk. They look like a mesh of eagle and human. Fast and vicious they have no love for people and will attack humas that get to close to their homes. Xenophobic to many races except for Drakkhani. They are at Taliesin District on tall buildings

Humans: Found everywhere in all shapes and flavors

Drakkhani: See this for more info The drakkhani are draconic humanoids and are in the Romani distict however there is small population of them.

Dryads: Information on them are rare as they are often not seen

any mythical race other than the listed must be approved by the GM

Terms

Mundane: Regular person...no powers

Arcane: Magic user, either learned or Natural

Mythic: Anything fantastic that isn't human.

Organizations

UMA: United Magic Association, this is organization that all arcanes must join as well as mythic to be registered

Nereid Society: A mer group

The Changed: A Vampire and werewolf group

Church of Our Savior: A massive Fundie Christian chruch who think the Mythics are evil demons of Satan, this church is known for their hate crimes.

Fraturnus Est Astra: An Arcane group that plans to bring ragnrok..

NightStorm

HAY GUYZ I GOTZ MURRIED!!!

2008-07-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

So Friday on July the 18 I was wedded to the man of my life. I am now _____ Cochran.

The wedding went off well and without any major bumps well...I couldn't fit into my wedding dress cuz I lost some weight. Lol So they had to pin my dress together. Ha.

We had a piper in our wedding that played our wedding march as I came down the aisle it was beautiful, Patrick was almost in tears when he saw me... :3 We stood for the ceramony and we said our vows, lit the unity candle and Patrick presented me with the family sword and tied the tartan on me. I never felt so happy.

It was so cool to see people I haven't seen in months. I got a lot of wonderful gifts and hugs from everyone. My daddy was so proud of me. That night was truely going to be one I will rememeber forever

Our honeymoon was laid back we stood at Fort Rapids, which was a nifty waterpark and resort. We had fun splash and swimming we totally scored prizes at the arcade.

On Saturday night we had dinner and hangout upstairs to watch the finale of Avatar the Last Airbender....in our jacuzzi hot tube. Never the less it was epic.

After a hot night of playing with some our new toys.... We left on Sunday and came back to the house to recuperate before going to the Zoo. It was nice at the Zoo and we had a nice dinner at Outback.

In all I was a wonderful wounderful weekneed

will post photos soon.

NightStorm

GAAAHHHH falls of cliff

2008-07-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

Dear “Player”,

I am flattered that you sought me out for a game, that was nice and I appreciate it. However player I am going to state a few things.

First off, understand my character; he is shy, very protective of his family and reluctant around people, he also abhors violence and weapons. All of this was not hidden from you all of this was in game. This also a modern setting, even though there are mythic creatures and wizards and mages in the city, there is also police officers, and other law enforcement. Having a bounty hunter character is cool but only if you realize that it’s in a setting where one isn’t always necessary.

Now you OOC told me to follow your character to see him work, at this point I should have grown a pair and stated no. Yet, I said yes and have S follow your character. Now you had me play the bad guy, I played a quick tempered half-minotaur, I didn’t plan this guy I sorta made him up as I went a long. Now this guy L will call him didn’t attack your character he postured and tried to act powerful sparking electric currents your character did something I didn’t understand then wrapped metal cords (hidden I think) around L’s arms. Well here is the theme of this letter. What did you expect my character to do?

L panicked, he shocked the cords which did nothing to your character, but you’re not going to let L get way with that? Did call the cops and tell them you got your man? No…your ripped L’s arms off Oh great. S has seen it and now is scared shitless. He runs off, your character follows him (after he gets money? WTF?), S calls him names because he’s terrified of your character and run off again hopefully to home. What does your character do? He uses the same cords to constrict and restrain S who is now even more terrified of your character and starts lecturing him on the streets as S calls for help. Police comes and your character skedaddled off. Now S’s mom and dad show up. This is the second fail on my part because I let you play K, S’s dad.

Now before we go into this scene we had an OOC conversation

Script format

Me: Hey all
NP: New Player

Me: Poor S, don’t your think that’s a little too much
NP: Well your character shouldn’t call mine a bastard
Me: He was scared O.o
NP: Well there is no away we can get them to be friends
Me: Well we could have time skip for few days and Have S come back to the bakery and have your character apologize to S and start things fresh again : D
NP: In your dreams my character isn’t weak
Me: D:
NP: I got something that will make this all go away.

AJKLPHF HOW IS APOLOGIZING WEAK!? DX that part alone is fail, what happens next is what’s frustrating me. You play K who is S’s loving and protective father. He’s a gruff satyr and is very protective of his children, adopted and biological. What does he do? Does comfort S? No he reprimands S for following your character and you passive aggressively state that S deserves all this and your character is blameless, through K

T.T this is all in one night.

Do not pass go do not collect cool points. You failed player. Even though you want to switch out character and play something else I am done with you. You don’t understand how reactions work, nor do you understand cause and effect. You scared my character, your character should have good manners and at least say sorry. No it’s weak. Thanks for saying that my character is weak to and not worthy for respect player.

Thanks a lot for frustrating me.

No Love at all,
Wolf of Zion

Teal Deer: Player character scared my character, she state that it’s my character fault and he should suck it up while her character gets away with all the shit he does with no consequence. Also according to her, my character is a weakling.

Part Duex

Dear me,
Stop being a doormat. Get up and defend yourself. Say no for once and stop letting people rule you. You would avoid sticky situations if you just grew a pair.

No love either,
Me

Ahhh I feel better for venting though =3

NightStorm

Autistic Human, Autistic Wolf

2008-07-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, I am human. I am also wolf. I am not one or the other I am both. Wolfhuman, I am not trapped, I am happily blended…like a caramel frappachino.

With that being said let me explain the nature of my essay. This is me rambling about my therianthropy and my Aspergers, this is not me bitching on why it sucks to be an Aspie in un-aspie friendly world and why it sucks to be a wolf in a human-centric world. No. This me, talking about why I like to talk about. Why I am what I am and how it changed my perspective on things. Exspcially why I believe that I am also an Autistic Wolf

I was “diagnosed” as a wolf before I was diagnosed as an Autist. I knew I was always awkward and outside of the realm of moderately-normal and well into the solar-system of “Holy cow! She’s bizarre.” This wasn’t because I was growling or doing things that are considered, “stereotypical” therian. I was doing weird stuff, like “talking about genetic replication” and “How sex-linked characteristics worked.” In a fourth grade class, I was often by myself body-rocking or talking to myself. I had to develop a strong imagination to keep myself from falling into great depression in school. It helped combat the extreme loneliness I felt growing up. And now I do a lot of Role Play and story writing because of it.

Little did I know that I was experiencing many aspie feelings and behaviors; I just figured these were atypical-human behaviors and thus I thought of myself as an atypical human, aka: Weirdo. Now I did have many therian behaviors, one of them is my heavy association to wolves and my obsession with them as middle schooler. As sixth grader I was convinced that God was high when thrust my obviously lupine soul into an awkward human body. I guess this is what the fad-crazed otherkin folks called an “Awakening.”. It wasn’t a mystical realization of truth; this was me trying to fit in a hellish school and coping with my family divorce. So I concluded that I wasn’t a human girl I was wolf. That made plenty sense to me and of course this was all before I found about therianthropy. Jakkal showed me to Shifter.org around 01 about seven years ago. It was through the awareness forums I found about therianthropy and thus the reason why I identified myself as a wolf. However…it was a little too much so I end up pushing myself into denial and ignored all of this. Saying too myself ‘This was too Wiccan for me.” Understand this way before I say “Fuck you” to the church at this point I was still a huge Christian. This denial lasted for almost a year, after that I shrugged and said, “Okay I’m a wolf…whats next.” Thus began my long marriage with the therian community.

I realized that therian community became what I really wanted; place to be ordinary to be accepted to fit in. I didn’t want to be weird or unusal I wanted to be in that realm I could never get into. The place of moderately normal; in the therian community I was moderately normal. I had a common therioside. I had shifts and I didn’t have any unusual events or occurrences. I often joked that I had a garden variety therioside. I wasn’t special or unique, and I was happy about that. As time wore on I was less involved with therian community, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, Autism that talks. Like all things I was more interested in learning about it then whining about it. So I read up and realized that the reason I could never fit into a human society is because I didn’t know how. I was in reality, a social retard. Which explained why I tried to camouflage myself into therian/Rp/Fanfiction/Online communities. I was so sick of standing out so I tried to appear normal (Redundant I know since I said that the last paragraph) which helped me cope a lot.

Now today as I approach a marriage of a real sort with my draconic mate and my involvement with the Autistic community, I begin to get use to the fact that I’ll never be normal and I need to wear my big-girl panties and deal. Even online my Aspergers still rears it’s ugly socially blind head all the time. I’ve learn to deal with it. And as I did I realized that I can’t be a normal human I realized that being a normal wolf was out of the question as well. I wasn’t normal. Albeit I tried to be in the therian community (does anyone else catch the irony?) I couldn’t I was autistic and I didn’t understand how things worked, I had to be taught everything and I was slow learner. I accepted the fact recently that I was an autistic human, but I was an autistic wolf as well

NightStorm

Anthrocon: And the insanity continues

2008-06-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday and around nine in the morning and now showered and reletivly clean. I'm ready to finish up the day with some MINDLESS shopping

Woohoo

Well is catch up about what all happened

Friday was the Werewolf LARP Wordwolf ran. Generally I was bored to tears and Wordy was runnin' all over the place.

After the LARP we all(mean everyone in the general vicinity that heard us shout BUCCA!)
came with us for dinner.

I sat with Feathers Foxx-z Pavlov and Tsuguru. All rather nice and just so much fun to be around. We ordered dinner and wine. And Thus! I was drunk. According to Tsuguru I was cute drunk than sober. Sober I was still cute but my cuteness meter doubles when I am drunk. Thanks to Feathers Word and Tsugaru. I got hope with out getting myself killed.

I sobered up around nine thirty in adult writing, I felt myself getting more and more aware as the time passed. (drink water it helps) I left Adult writing and I found myself at the star party. With my African Wild Dog that I bought earlier I talked to a varied of furs, including Maxis and Ocean. Ocean was an intelligent guy abet a bit weird. He was a native and shaman so well...so unsual part goes with out saying. After talking with him and his mate I headed to the rave and danced my brains out.

By twelve I was bushed.

Saturday began with me wandering around the hotel looking for word. I found Captain Q and hanged out with him for a while though. Around one I was discovered by Wordwolf in the Dealer's Room. I hanged around with plushies until I had to leave to go get food.

Eating lunch we discussed the Therian Seminar, or Animal Spirituality and Therianthropy for AC. By the time arrived I was nervous. Reaaaally nervous. But I didn't completely screw up when I talked with Wordwolf.

After the seminar I headed to Plot Delevopment and wrote...stuff. The class was a lot of fun but I didn't stay for World Building no. I had to go see 2 the Ranting Griffon.

Oh dear god! IT WAS HILARIOUS! I never laughed so hard in my life! Gods! Jibba who opened for him was hilarious too. After 2 I nearly wet my pants watching Uncle Kage do stand up with 2 and Jibba.

After this I hanged out with Maxis a fifteen year old Tanuki furry who was having some issues with roomated. I comforted him and gave him art..which he paid me for. I wasn't expecting that.

I danced at the raves ran into Feathers, left and drank a screwdriver at Tonic and had rather low key actually adult conversation with some other furries....who were adult.

Now it Sunday and I guess I will tell more when I get home...

<3 style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">NightStorm

Anthrocon Day one

2008-06-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

So I am in my hotel room at the Westin in Pittsburgh. It's currently storming relativity dreary. I am waiting for Feather Dragon and Subwoofer to return to the room I'm planing to shower and read and maybe eat something.

RECAP MO FOS

-Arrived at Westin at 400
-Got reg
-Found Wordwolf and Lurician/Kerisa ran around the Zoo some more
-Hanged out at WW room
-Found FD
-Had supper at Fernado's
-More mindless running around
-Got glomped
-Hugged lots of fursuiters
-Got free scrittches
-At room now

Blah in all I'm pretty worn out today. Still suffering from vertigo from the elevators I am feeling rather bushed. Probably still getting use to being away from Pat I'm going to be rather home sick. Feather Dragon and Subwoofer are rather sweet and it's nice to be rooming with some sweet guys. Other guy Raijikar well I don't know about him. Day one of Anthro con complete will post more tomorrow

<3 You all
NightStorm

Caveat RPer

2008-06-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

So I responded to an ad, for an artist looking for new RPlayers, at Y! (I need to stop doing that) She is rather good artist and from what I can tell a good writer. She seems to interested in playing a game with me. I tell her what I like and my settings, she seems fastinated by it but when I try to bring out characters, keep getting a nagging feeling that she's passive aggressivly mocking them and saying that they are too over powered. Feeling that vibe I offered to play one of my more mundane characters. Who's only "special-ness" that he was raised by satyrs. She like my elf but she goes on about what attracts her to certain characters, and again I keep getting the feeling that she's calling my characters "Stues" and wants me to play something else.

So I ditched my human boy and went back with my orginal descision of playing with "K" and I will modifiy to play in her setting.

In all during the entire conversation I was willing to bend over backwards to fit whatever she wants. I was willing to modify anything for her or make up a new character. So we're sorta in stalemate right now, since I want RP with with her but I don't know what excatly she wants and all she's doing is being vauge about what she would want from me. And so I am still try to figure out if I am even good enough to play with her which is the bottom line. I felt though talking to her and showing my characters and my settings....that I wasn't good enough and nothing I can do will impress her or attract her to play game with me. Not even a test game.

We normally have civil conversations and I try to be my most POLITEST I try to hold my tongue and not say a lot. When last night she was ranting to me about a new player she took on. She was telling me how frustrated she was about sending out four-paragraphs (on MSN) and she is only get one para from the other player. Now she showed me her four-para post to me. It was all just a setting post there wasn't much interaction to the other player. So the player who was blind did her best to post her after her. She goes on how the other player should write about the dog go in more depth about what he hears or sees. Well thats all and good I suppose. But after hearing her ranting about one of players "Wasting her time" when she should be focusing on her "emotionally charged" Sex scene.

It doesn't make want to jump up and go "I WANNA RP!" it actually does the opposite, it makes me less willing to play. I'm already imtimindated by you and I feel very inferior when talking to you about setting up game. The fact that I might wasting your time with my elf-guy doesn't make jump up in down in joy either. I am glad you have long term player to hang out with you (Though I wonder if this guy is just stuck with you) still treating new-players like shit and whinying about it to someone that is new-player (to you) is NOT helping things infact your going to scare me away.

Which you said it's ok. So fine you don't mind if you scare other players away from you.

Just think about that the next time you whine to Y! about having nobody to play with.

Now hears is question for BRPS, is it my bad for insuating to much, Should I give her a chance? Am I over dramatizing this? I feel a lot is my fault I should do better. Part of me wonders If I should make better characters or something next time when I play. Sigh....

NightStorm

Kings Island meet up

2008-06-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the Kings Island/Therian Meet up.

I saw Martian/BetaSwimmer Morgan/Ariana the odd and she brough her boyfriend and her friends with her. Pat was with me too

We arrived at Mason Ohio early so we took a detour to Beta's house and we hanged out with Martian and his border collies. AWWWW

We took him in our car and drove to Kings Island were we met up with Morgan and her friends. We ran all over the park, we road the Son of Beast first and some other rides after wards. Around 2 in the afternoon we head to Boomerang bay and went swimming. I was mostly with Martian and Pat. (I was pimping XD) We rode some waterrides but I panticked on a few on the Pipeling paridise I wiped out and I was sobbing mess D: Ugh it was awful

by the late afternoon I was pretty overloaded, and tired. We road more rides and I of course had to the ride on the Avatar the Last Airbender coaster At the end of the day we ate at Applebee's and I got a bit drunk we drove Martian hope and I slept the drink off.

The adventure was loads of fun XD I totally had a blast. However right now I am in a bind for the next Adventure at AnthroCon

Pat might not be able to make it. So I am going to be around Pittsburg without a room or money. Actually just without money. Though I won't be able to pay for a room either D: So I am sorta in a pickle...*sigh*

anyway see ya!

Update hurrr

2008-06-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

Well Patrick and I finally moved into his parents place for a while, so we can save up money for the wedding and we can get our own place.

Things that are coming up

-Summer Howl at King's Island

My fiance finally got the tickets for the summer Howl, we have BetaSwimmer, Preatori and Corvus coming along with Ariana the Odd. So it's not a huge group but it's decent enough. We're going to go swimming there and hang out at all the rides. I'm looking forward to it, my main concern again is meltdowns D: blarg. I don't know how the group is going to handle them, exspecially Ariana the Odd.

AnthroCon

I've talked to Feather Dragon telling him that I got my tickets for the Greyhound. I haven't heard back from him buy I am going to E-mail him agian telling that I got them and I'll be at Pittsburg around 3:00 Pm if anyone is heading to AC I'll be there.

For this, I need to set up supplies like extra food and water since I was very malnourished last year. Also the idea of getting a red card just incase I meltdown or have really bad panic attack with the notice of: "If you are reading this card, this indivual is having an Autistic Meltdown, please stay calm and get her to a safe and quiet enviroment." I don't know if thats too much or what but I think it might be a safe manuver if I get separated from Pat, WordWolf or Feather Dragon.

But is it too much?

RP news
I'm doing well at FS nothing much to say there. However I am a little stressed with one game it's invoking a lot of emotion from me, it feel weird to be so emotionally involved with a game T.T thats not good

NightStorm

Therianthropy and Disablities And stuff about gender identity

2008-06-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

After hanging around Werelist for so long and TO I am come to the conclusion that people want an excuse.

They want justifaction an end-all with therianthropy thats not the case. Therianthropy and Otherkinship doesn't have an end-all and the fact people are using such is frankly obnoxious.

My main issue is not Therianthropy=Reincarnation or Therianthropy=Spiecies dysphoria it's Therianthropy=Disablities.

That to me is a major WTF. Considering in my life-path I have met several indivuals with real and interfering disablities considering Therianthropy as such is insulting to other therians and to real disablied indviduals. I am not the guru of therianthropy or disablities but in my 7+ years of discovering my therianthropy and four or five years with disablied inviuals and as a disablied indivual myself. I really have hard time grasping the idea that therianthropy is a disablity.

First of understand that to me a disablity is more then human experiance and perspective. It's also a legality. You can't get a SSI with Therianthropy. Or BVR help or any govermental help, it's not even in the DSM IV. Labling it as such is really asking the world "HEY GIVE US STIGMA" which is something the Therian comm doesn't need at all.

Also it's insulting to people with real intefering disablities like blindness, deafness or Autism.

Which bring us the last point. Therian=Autistic NO. I am sick of people that want to slap Therianthropy into the ASD. GOOD GOD! Growling at someone isn't the same as being face blind or having social phobias to the point they make life diffcult.

Savage GTFU

Moving on to a response to a thead about gender identity
I have many stereotypes against me and not because I am female...it's because am an Autistic Female which plays a huge role in gender. As someone who is a gender that is gear for social protocols and emotional empathy I am at a severe disadvantage. I don't understand certain behaviors and emulating them is a hard chore. So I defaulted into I call Circumstantial Androgyny. Meaning because of said neurology and social behaviors that I never learned nor cared for, I became somewhat bigendered. I slip between both, or sometimes I am neither. There are days that I feel very feminine there are days where I am very masculine. I believe neurology plays a huge role in this.

If I did not have Aspergers or any form of ASD I would have been most like my collage bound sister then I am now. I would have more geared to building social relationships, reputation and appearance then than simply living as Bearclaw stated from ElfQuest, in the "Now"

Because my gender, females expect me to be punctual to be well groomed, detail oriented and goal oriented. They expect me to enjoy socializing with people they expect me to very observant of people and recall said observances. Now not all females are like this, not all neruo-typical women are like this, I am playing by generalization and experiences from my dealings with women of all sorts.

I get different expectations with men; they expect me to get rude jokes, to be very earthy and tactile. Activities include games and events that bore me and are very manual, they expect me to be aggressive and assertive, they also have body language and cues I can not read and expect me to pick them up. (IE: My roommates would give each other looks and they instantly know what they mean) However men are very very straight forward and from my experience are easiest to interact with as well as communicate with. Again I am going from experience.

In all I don't fit with either gender, woman want too much from me, and because my biology men have hard time being straight with me because I am not "one of the guys" they also tend to insinuate because I am a woman I don't get certain nuances. Strangely enough, I get them better then most men. So androgynous by nature and neurology I am just happy as a clam screwing over stereotypes and insinuations.

I will also add that I am happy being biologically female, I have no complaints with my biology and an as someone that loves children I look forward to bearing my future husband with some. I like my ovaries just not when they are menstruating

NightStorm

Thanks for the Emotional Rape.

2008-06-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

This morning has been unfathomly chaotic. I woke up and got on the computer and I saw this "Anne I don't want to get Married now, I will talk to you when I got home."

wut?

Wow, Pat. What a thing to wake up to. For about a year we've been preparing for this and now you don't want to get married. Gee Pat thanks for talking to me this earlier. Or thinking about my feelings.

You know what Dragon, Since you don't mind this kind of stuff.
I'm going to go smoke again. Fuck you.

NightStorm

Crunch Tiem!

2008-05-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

So it's Thursday and Friday means Pats working and I have to work my butt off to get shit ready for us to move. Great. Way to crunch down on us numb nuts

Nothing much going on except fighting depression cycles, thank god it's not mania D: anyway I went to green leaf today and lord I was just bored, Peter my job devolper just did most of the work for me. I sat there going "whut" oh thanks foraging my singature for an appliction D: not cool man. All this work better reap me something damn it.

Got two books from the library which I am going to be reading tonight. My sister is graduating this weekend so I am busy. Lord D:

and blarg AnthroCon NEXT MONTH!!

NightStorm

Short post is short

2008-05-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

So I am at the Library again after coming back from a Tarot reading (way to spend your tax money Anne) which was enlightening, besides my last readings sans: "Get a fucking job Anne" this was defintintly eye opener for relationships, expecially my mother.

Being a warm and moist Tuesday I'm going to get some ice cream and probaby RP today with Momo and maybe Musa.

As for Pat we need to set out plan of what needs to be packed and read. In all this was a short post not one of my long diatribes about the Therian community even though Savage is still "WTF" to me with "Therianthropy=Disablities" Lol..WHAT?!

Oh Savage.

Anyway I'll post back with some rants about the Yaoi Fandom

NightStorm

Oh dramatize!

2008-05-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

So it's another wonderful Monday AHAHAHAHAHAHA...no.

That being said Happy Memorial day. Being Memorial day all the pools are now open and I can walk down to Olympic and go swimming yay? But alas being to damn cool and I'll freeze my B-cup titties off.

Because I am lazy motherfucker I am still wondering if I should bother to go to Job Club tommarrow or go OH FUCK IT and sleep in. Most likely the latter and talk to Peter tommarrow about doing more Job Stuff later this week.

Depression is still running rampant around my pysche, it's getting to the point were it's dipping
into the reaches of sucidal. Not. Good. This is because of inactivity really, I do nothing but Emo online that the tired routine is stifiling creativity and allowing me to think of depressing things.

RP wise I'm starting to prefer IM RP to Fourm RP, I like the one on one feel that it has then the "You must follow the motherfucking rules" Feel of a fourm RP, like this one. This got stupid fast
so I said FUCK YOU and left. Yes impulsive but the Fourm was failing into the area of "Private clique" than Fourm RP. Which is utter, utter fail. I'm still RPing with Momo, and Growly showed up this evening so I'm having a huge ass blast with RPing with Growly. The only issue with him is that he's inconsitance and shows up eveyone five months. Having internet issues this typical and I give him grace. Plus it's like getting present when I do see him,

As I go deleting my inbox in Y! remind myself that tonight I need to get my ass of the computer and do a few things.
-Tarot
-draw from life.

I need to find my inspriation again, it's hard but I can try.

NightStorm

Yay Depression and other musings

2008-05-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

Well I'm waiting for my little sister to arrive today so I can cash checks and watch Prince Caspian with her. Hopefully this will kill a lot of my depression which I have been feeling a lot of latly. Typical. Without Depakote to help treat my cycles I'm just drowning in my emotional stew. Whats worse it's effecting my will to write and draw so I'm in another Artistic famine....yaaaaay D:

Job wise, it's getting hopeless my depression is making more lazier than normal, however I did make a few phone calls and sent in my Resume. So please random deity HAVE FUCKING FAVOR ON ME!! ANTHROCON NEXT MONTH T.T

Online, I'm actually not that active anymore, weird, Nothing happing around FS, or LJ or Devianart so I'm actually bored. Which is kinda amusing now (GET A JOB ANNE D<) so maybe I'll make myself write and work on Brothers of the Typhoon. Ha. Ha. Ha << Spiritually wise, my shifts are still erratic...I'm not shift as much or at all. I still feel wings (thanks to new kinship) but because my depression I'm not shifting or have the will to at all. Tarot sayz I need to get my ass in gear and get to work or Pat and I will pretty much stay at bedrock. I must have fucking mad gypsy skills to get a most of the cards connected to money and finacances. In reverse D: Oh eight of pentacles (Disks in my deck) In all this week sucks

NightStorm

RP Suck and other thoughts

2008-05-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Copy pasta from Bad_RPers_Suck

So the Admin posted something about having a Memember of the month thing in the fourm. That sounds like a good idea at first run. But when you looked down to it, it's not. Expecially in a very small fourm.

I honestly it just says "HAY LETS ADD NEEDLESS COMPETION!!" Though it might be better in a fourm that is more geared to members helping members or something of that nature. But in a RP board I felt, at least now even later in the summmer is only going turn into a needless popularity contest.
*sigh*

I am getting sick of arguing with the admid with this, because my bones just say "BAD IDEA"

then again I think I am overreacting.

Has a contest like this effected your site or RP community? Is really a bad idea? Or am I worring over something stupid?

I think this is a bad idea but I know I can be wrong.

Well if there is suck in RP there is awesome too. I'm in awesome game with friend from LiveJournal, we met up at BRPS and we are now in a game of awesome and epic =3. However I have omnious feeling that this going to be an Elle repeat. Though, I doubt it, I feel that if
I don't watch myself I am going to have the same thing happen again. D:

Anyway I finally found some of my old buddies from Cedar Point. Oh man it was GREAT to find Greg, Ellen and Mikey. Brings me back to the Fun Tiems.

NightStorm

Thoughts on Pagan supply stores and WFT Fandom

2008-05-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

Copy pasta from Wank_Theater

Oh fandom how you are so amusing to me. You and your whinings about ships and about plot and about characters.Zutarians you amaze me the most I thought most of you were pretty rational and fair. Some are awesome cause they like Kataang or rather tolerate it with class. I admire those Zutaraians that have fun and not whine about their ship. They like the fun and romance and tension.

Canon? Whats that? They do not care about canon. Those are the real Zutarians, they love the show for what it is.MizSweet, Advid, GreenifyMe, and Canon!Zutarians? Who the fuck are you? You are not a Zutarians, you guys are late teens with entitlement issues. My god you're suppose to be adults. Grown-Ups...you're acting worse than spoiled children not getting a candy bar at the Krogers.

Here I am with social problems and a develomental disorder and I am applaud at this behavior. Seriously way to turn off people from your ship. It didn't happen, Guh! Grow up and put on big girl panties and deal with it. So it's not canon. HOW IS THAT IMPORTIANT!? It didn't stop Sleefmistress from writting hawt Zutara pron or her fiction. Best of all she cool with Kataang she thinks it's cute, she even did art and fics for it. She by far is the BEST Zutarian I have ever met. Learn from her awesome kidlings. Yelling at Bryke NOT COOL. This isn't your story it's theirs and I think kids need to take a step back and look at in another perspective

Cultural Mythology....with a bang. Have you not notice the entire theme of Avatar the Last Airbender? At all? It's not a romantic drama, it's an epic, a tale much simlar in the styles of a mythological story. More so since it's theme is "Coming of Age" not just for Aang but for all of the young characters. We watch them grow and change to be something real, it's a story of a boy becoming a Man, a girl becoming a Woman. It's reaching for something that many of use struggle to achive, Adulthood.I huge fan of mythology and true storycrafting. I have a interest in Hindu, Celtic, Greek and also sorts of mythosi. Avatar the Last Airbender pulls little peieces of inspiritation from that kind of storytelling. One thing I notice is the Role of Aang, "Savior, God Child" He has an importiant role and one thing I have notice from those roles is that they have figure, Consort. A companion, a yin to the yang, a reflection of themselves. Odin has Freya, Zeus has Hera(and formally Metis) Lugh the Sun God has Dana or Mother Earth. Vishnu has Lakishmi(is that how you spell her name), and Aang has Katara.They reflect that sort of ancient never-ending-story. Though this might me over reading it. Also I got that same vibe from Mai and Zuko..

And now for something completly different. I ranted to Bad_Service about, Pearls of Wisdom the other day. Long story short, the owner of the store hates autsitic teens apparently. Moving on one user suggested Fly By Night on N High. So curious I walked up to the place and I was pleasently surprised. Pysche is the owner and seem to have the strong feel of "Teacher" when I walked in. We had a pleasent chat. Told her I was an artist she has a link to my Dev page and all I think I found a new hang out. Thought it was small it didn't have the greed vibe that I got a pearls.

Found new Esosteric store =D

NightStorm

Drive by Interview

2008-05-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Well I had Job Training today which was just Job club in the morning and it was rather dull so as sat drawing, ran around the library later and found Skim which was highly interesting novel. I was engrossed in it that I totally forgot about Weird Bible Reader, that was in front of me when I was finished reading he left a fake $100 where I was sitting, it was just a little message about John 3:16 I was like: "What! No money!" Man I was I pissed, you don't pull that shit to a girl wallowing in poverty

As I joined Pete at Greenleaf a while later to do Moar Jobstuff. We actually used a lead I got this morning. We called and with a quick change at my place he drove me to Hillard to meet the woman who was in charge of a Christian Child Care center. With great ease I played the role of young Christian sheeple. I hope get this job....seriously..

NightStorm

Well..yes...your characters "are" sues

2008-05-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

So it's another brilliant May morning and mother's day is tomarrow so I need to give a card to my mom D: I hope I will get my stylus soon D:

Anyway on to the post,

So it's another day at DeviantArt and I'm still trying to wake up as of late have been reading a fan comic called "Avatar Rebirth" in all regards it's decent comic and the art, lack luster it's still tolerable..but the characters D: dear gods

Aori is the only character I tolerate the rest need to die in a fire, the names sucks so much balls. And story lines? Holy fuck fandom!

The artist thinks her characters are all "realistic" and "plausible" I'm sorry when does being raised by badgermoles count for a realistic character.

Name your chartacters Yakuza and Senshi fail as well.

In all even supposed good chartacters can be ultimate fail in desguise

(Sigh)

NightStorm

It's Tuesday Afternoon....and I'm bored

2008-05-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting in my inlaws well going to be my inlaws anyway. Because Fattie and I got fucked.

No seriously

AEP fucking screwed us over. long story short. Before I move in. Fat-ass Roomate was going to take care of the Eletricty..he never did when he left Fat Ass Roomate left me and my fiance to pay for a 1194$ bill. We had a payment plan we thought we were ok. The out of fucking no where we had our power gone. We called and they told us they sent us a notice we never got it. And in all we got fucked.

More or less I have no respect for AEP. Thanks alot man

We also have rent to worry about to and I need to take care of my rats. Poor girls.

So on with the community wank

Shit online since RL sucks

So as for drama online I joined a new Avatar community. And it's not to terribly bad not Feng Shui, but it's a good practice for me. And for once I'm showing some manners. However to Kusan and Marimo..STFU NAO.

Feng Shui is going through a HUGE member flood. We've been getting assloads of new players. Some are less than stellar some are can be badass. This doesn't surprise me since Boiling Rock came out and now people are starting to get back into Avatar

I'm still trolling around the Vinny...same old, same old.

The Therian community has been ok I am still going WTF at Savage stating Therianthropy is a Disablity. I mean. WHUT? Seriously Savage what are you justifying? You're a self-dignosised Autistic and you state that Therianthropy which may nor may not be spirtual or neurological is a disablity. Fuck. I wonder how you can get gov' SSI help with that?

Autism Comm. Is still dry. Same old, same old. The Auti-noia is rampant as usual and the self-DX'd are still whining about Autism Speaks

*sigh*

I hate the communites sometimes

Thoughts on a Certain Person

2008-05-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Certian individual.

We've been friends in some form for a while. You're a excellent artist and wonderful and engaging
RP'er. However we have some problems

You wank to much. I know I do it too, but I try to use a LJ or MySpace for my wank, I leave the C-box alone. You spam it with your endless bitching about how you nearly commited sucided I would be concerned if this was your first but alas it was like your fifteenth. You whore yourself for attention and except people to sympathize with you. Guess what. I don't

In all regards I stopped giving a shit about your RL drama. You take too much shit for granted. Whining your obvious jealously about how me having someone like Pat isn't going to make me symthpathize to you either. No, I will not give in to your bullshit. You have hot water fucking expensive art shit and Grand parents who despite your bitching probably do care about you.

If you are going to kill yourself. Do it. This attention whoring shit needs to fucking stop.

GTFU NAO

PS: Iron Man was bad ass. I approve

PPS: To the Admid who banned me for...disagree with them.. you call it "rudeness" Go to hell. Stay there. I don't regret spamming your C-box. It was refreshing. Your RP sucks.

NightStorm

Furfags Vrs Furries and other Fandom Batshittery

2008-05-01T11:17:00.001-07:00

So we all know what a furry is. We've seen the media stereotype of furries as sex-crazed bestality fuckwits. Most of us that are part of fandom by association but not really a furry. Know how fucking annoying it is to get fucking confused with a furfag

NEWSFLASH!
Not every furry fucks plushies/zoophilic/or attentionwhores. Those are furfags, despite ED definition of a furfag as anything furry. Nightstorm knows a diffrence.

Furfag

Attention whores, and masturbates to their own porn
fucks anything that moves including their dogs
their loudness breaks their sound barriers

there loudness is what fantards and /b/tards hear

These are furfags, they are assholes and egotists. And fail at life. Nightstorm abhors furfags and normally doesn't talk to them. Furries have jobs and familes they normal people. And durning cons they like to have fun. Normally nice people, they only like yiff when it's tasteful and cheap.

Before you start jumping to conclusions. No. I am not a furry. However I don't mind hanging with them.

NightStorm

I dollar for my thoughts

2008-04-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

This is just a thought post

I'm starting to again some ground

Working with BRV allows me to have a little more control how. I feel more confiedent Job hunting because of a network. People are looking out for me. I might get a good job. I still feel rather patronized thought

Otherkin...not for everyone

I've come to the conclusion that the Otherkin community is rather hard to adjust to. Because of it's varied stew of RPers, fluffies, and hardasses. It not a place for therians even looking for information. Nothing is standard. Still at least I have some help with my new discovered kin yay I'm fucked? Thanks karma for the irony.

Therians will scare you shitless

I discovered a post to day on the boards that was rather text book and for the lack of better words. I wasn't a douche to the noob. Hmmmm I'm growing soft must remedy that

Autist comm: ned moar lulz

Nuff said

RP Community just fail'd

WOW players does not make you a good RP...Lol this guy couldn't figure out how to use a forum. Fail.

Conclusion?

NightStorm needs to go to bed damnit << NightStorm

Yay Howl!!

2008-04-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

So today was a big day...I woke up around eight in the morning after the random ass storm that went BOOOM!

Waking up I began the ritual of hinding out online before getting ready. A little while later I trugged down to Krogers to get fruit salad mix. So I made a huge fruit salad with pineapples, regular apples, blueberrys, grapes, bananas, kiwi and lots of strawberries. So Kelesy mom show up with Kel, and Pat and I piled in and drove to Glen Helen. It was long drive but we made it around 12:40 Corvus showed up followed by Betaswimmer who was there before us but was like "Lol is that them?"

So Kel's mom took off and we took out picnic supplies and headed down to a nice spot underniethe a ledge...that was dripping water on me. We had chicken, fruit salad, chips and warm pop. We shared food and thoughts about out
therianthropy, we talked about doomsday and what pisses us off. So we packed up took off for town for ice cream

We hanged out a esoteric store, hand ice cream, walked back and ran around the woods
here are some shots of me and the other theris =D
Waterfalls are made of win

I love being around friends and nature

Rawr my face pnws Corvus's

Sun Wukong...or BetaSwimmer

It's a Dragon....It's monkey?

Awww it's a snakey.

In all the trip was a sucess it was amazing celebration of humanity friendship and kinship. These people I will keep in touch for a long time. I hope we can celebrate again this summer

Love for all beings of all kinships.

NightStorm

Fandom battshittery and comic con

2008-04-20T06:22:00.001-07:00

Well the fandom just exploded last night. NYCC happened with the Avatar Fan Panel. I talked to my friend Katie about who was there cosplaying as Aang and she met Mike&Bryan also known as Bryke the Fandom God. All hail Bryke....

moving on the wank-flood was astounding and everyone got wrapped up in wash including me. Which I was regreting for opening my mouth to a bunch of hyper teenage girls more manic then me and Zutaras...Hurhurhur.

Anyway Capslock_Kataang had a fucking meltdown over the trailer, it was full "OMGNUUUUWTFBRYKE" And the Zutaraians are claiming and earily victory.
and wank keeps flooding.

We got a lot of spoilers with the Trailer and the EIP clip. Which was fookin' hilarious. In all Capslock_ATLA and the fandom and going WTFWHAT? About no epis until JULY?!

D:

NightStorm

China you FAIL'D

2008-04-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

I found this at my Livejournal today, it just makes me sad.

Artist's life is very unrewarding thing...I know I will never make a realistic life off my art. And it saddens me when I find things like this.

China...you are made of suck and fail, Thank you.

Please other artists and people that watch my blog pass the link around

FANDOM 'SPLOD NAO

2008-04-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the lack of updates Lawl real life and blogspot being a dick.

Anyway yesterday was rather boring but cool cause I hanged out with Kelsey yesterday, after hijacking Pat's speakers and blasting Deep Forest walked back to StartBucks. It was cool to hang out with her it's like a
forshadowing of things to come. Yay Howl =D

Later in the Evening, Pat and I met Randy, a friend of Pat's and went "Questing" which was randomly running around the neighborhood until we found Breevort Park and then we walked back. We played Magic the gathering and I got my assed kicked and
Creature screwed "CAN I HAZ MAH URSA FIRGA PLZ?"

So after long day of being socialized I came back to my home the internests and found this
HOLY NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS BATMAN. My fandom just exploded! So he new episode of Avatar is going to be in Latin America?
And in Portugese. PEDRO
TRANSLATE NAAAO! As the bat shit continues to explode I wander into the hell which is Avatarspirit.net and I find new news. M. Night Shamlyan's movie for Avatar is called. The Last Airbender because somebody took the title Avatar. Moving on it's coming out July 2 2010 jdkfdsklf YES! There is also an Interview with the "Itza TWEEEST" guy himself. I shitting popcorn folks. This guy is gonna make this movie killar. I know it

So Comic-con rages on I found this while mulling at CAPLOCK_ATLA, Though the idea of Avatar puppets amuse me(see pic at the top) . I finally figured out what Kevin Coppa has been doing.

Wow Kev you just reached a new level of weird.

See you next tiem

Nighstorm

Close jars gain no water

2008-04-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing I try not to do in the spirituality department is have preconceived notions on what is what. Unlike science, spirituality is not a exact art. It changes and morphs through out the time, once was unconventional is totally norm. Once was unheard of is now part of the doctrine. We are a culturly evolving people. Our humanity is changing in forms and so is our methods of gaining enlightenment, comfort and faith.

Sticking to once concept is generally a bad idea. So when I found this thread I gave some helpful advice stating that you should keep an open mind and drop preconceptions
so you can have a bias free understanding of therianthropy.

Uhm...That's the thing with opinions. When you have an opinion, you don't usually say that it probably something else, when you don't believe it. Sorry if you don't agree with me, but I just don't believe it to be anything more than that. But, I'm not going to push my beliefs on anyone else.

Umm sorry opinions are flexible things. They change like beliefs. Your Therianthropy=Species disphoria, is if anything, is bias and that's just going to cloud judgement.
Which honestly pisses me off. I am sorry, if you want to believe in this,
go ahead just don't expect me to debate with you or me to get serious with you. I'll respect your opinion as valid and we can drop it there. I just don't expect you to learn anything now or gain anything; you have a reason to therianthropy and why ok. Why are you at werelist? If you don't believe to be a therian and go "Lol transspeices" at it. What your point to be here? Are you following friends? Trolling? You seem to have a following too oh well I'm not going bother you about it. I just know that staying not religious and equating therianthropy to religion. Just tells me I don't need to take you seriously.

Thing about therianthropy, daemons, soulbonds, otherkin ect, is that preconcevied ideas are the result of a misunderstanding or a bad experciance sometime media or hearsay does the trick too. So because of this people tend to judge base on those said experiance or media sensationalism and make conclusions that are not acturate, like all furries are sex deviants or all trolls are unintellgent....ok the last one was kinda stretching it. But the point is preconcevied
notions and thoughts about how this operates or work leads to more misunderstandings and moar butthurt. People with bad experiances with Christians tend to Uber-group Christians and make broad and condencending remarks on them as a whole. This stirrs up more drama and butthurt and with Christians shouting "Persecution!" while the main nasty group (fundies) is continuing sterotypes. It's a vicious cycle, the same can be said about atheists. People have a habit of believing in hearsay or sighing and going with old and nasty experiances because it's easier and it's how humans normally work.

Which is why I urge many off you to drop past ideas of what you might thought being a therian, otherkin, Wiccan ect means. When joining a new community you should drop old ideas and start fresh and wanting to learn. Open eyes to new ideas and concepts be ready to ask questions, don't start with "This I how I think ______ this works." because it builds bias and frustration exspecially with negivtive ideals and conotations. This is why I am learning a lot about indigo
children, when I joined the fourm I dropped my idea on how it's all a joke and hanged with everyone, I still think it's a joke now hanged out with everyone and went "BWAH?" at the mystic New Age mojo. But I do have respect for many people hopefully after this experiance I will become less snarky to the New Age bullshit.

....

Naaah

NightStorm

So I am visionary?

2008-04-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.

Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.

You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.

Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.

In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.

Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.

You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

The art of an apology

2008-04-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

Is it just me? Or does no one really apologise anymore. I mean I had to be taught how to
apologise when I was in school because I didn't know how to admit my faults and
do it right.

People still don't know how to apologise. People will brush off their behavior with excuses. Good gods! Doesn't anyone know how to apologise anymore?

NightStorm

Therianthropy for retards

2008-04-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

So what is Therianthropy? Since you are going to be looking at this peice of shit called a blog here is the Wiki fur defintion of a Therian

Therians are people who believe that they have an intrinsic, personal, and integral connection to (an) animal(s). That is to say that part of their core being is animal, be it spiritually, mentally, et cetera. Unlike furry lifestylers, therians do not try to outwardly project their animalistic nature, nor do they choose the animal side they are inherently born with. Therians may also be called "shifters", though this can be a contentious term as a growing number feel they do not actually change from one state to another and more reflect a human-animal state by having an animal soul and a human body.

So thats a therian, so we can deduce that therianthropy is the concept that people are in some internal fashion, we are animals, some of us shift some of us don't, but in one way or another we are the in concept; Anthromorphics. Human-animal.

So know you have some inkings what a therian is, here what it isn't

-Therians are not Furries.

We are not furries, though may therians are part of the Furry fandom and post art and the like not really furries but use it as market like Christy Grandjean We might float around the community or hang out at the cons. But for the record. We are not part of the furry community or an exstention of it. What we are extented from is the the Otherkin community. But to be honest
the Otherkin community is full delusional kids and teenagers that are rebelling. Not to say that the therian comm has it share of
retards, we do have our trolls but in honesty.... you find them more in Otherkin comm then here.

-Therians are not Shamans

Though many therians out there are shamans of one form or another.

It's safe to that therianthropy=/=Shamanism. We aren't shamans, our theriosides are not totems or animals spirits.

And many shaman therians mix up totems with their theiroside which is all kinds of crazy.

However, even though I have learned a bit about shamanism but I am not a shaman, I'm studying the Tao, but I am not Taoist either.

Still we do have some shamans in community.

They themselves are crazy enough without their therianthropy

-Therians are not Role Players

For the idiots out there that assume this all a game to us. You have failed the internet. GTFO.

We are real people with real lives that do real things. We just also to think in some way we have paws, wings, and scales. This isn't pretend this isn't game. Even though I role play, this is too real to be a game.

NightStorm

Welcome to Oblivion, May take your hat and coat?

2008-04-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

So.

First post, not knowing what to write excatly...but I should introduce myself and give a brief discription of my blog and why the fuck I have it.

About the idiot on the keyboard

I'm Anne I'm 21, female, mentally bigendered, agnostic, a spirtualist also dignonsised with Aspergers Syndrom and a shifting Arctic wolf therian. I am getting married to my soulmate, Patrick. I live in shitty house in Columbus and I hate people in general. Still I am courtious enough to not fall asleep when they are chatting there asses off

I am rude, sarcastic and bitter, I'm also intelligent, creative and unconvetional, I forget the box, I think outside of fourty of them.

What the fuck is this blog for?

this everything between, Neurodiversity, Autistic rights, Therianthropy, Therians, Spirtualism, Avatar the Last airbender, Art, Role Play and all sorts of bullshit. Mostly this blog is for everything, you'll find posts for therians discussion shifts and community
and my rants on said community as well as rants and talks about the autism community too and
role play community too. I make fun of everyone equally.

anyways these are the ramblings of an autistic therian..enjoy.

Ramblings of an Autistic Therian

Auras and Sythesthesia

Quantum Mechanics Soul identity and bagles

One thing I will never regret.

The issues with Clinical Therianthropy

A is for Apathy..

Like a blind man in an art gallery

Plot lemurs attack!

GODDAMN THE SELF-DX

Resonance

Pagan Pride Day

Constructive Crit and other nonsense

Disablity Angst and Sillies

Moar Rants

Coffee House gangbang

Gimick

FUCKING DEVART!

*SNARL* *HISS* *GROWL

I think I smell a Rat

RP/story universe: Nirvana City

HAY GUYZ I GOTZ MURRIED!!!

GAAAHHHH *falls of cliff*

Autistic Human, Autistic Wolf

Anthrocon: And the insanity continues

Anthrocon Day one

Caveat RPer

Kings Island meet up

Update hurrr

Therianthropy and Disablities And stuff about gender identity

Thanks for the Emotional Rape.

Crunch Tiem!

Short post is short

Oh dramatize!

Yay Depression and other musings

RP Suck and other thoughts

Thoughts on Pagan supply stores and WFT Fandom

Drive by Interview

Well..yes...your characters "are" sues

It's Tuesday Afternoon....and I'm bored

Thoughts on a Certain Person

Furfags Vrs Furries and other Fandom Batshittery

I dollar for my thoughts

Yay Howl!!

Fandom battshittery and comic con

China you FAIL'D

FANDOM 'SPLOD NAO

Close jars gain no water

So I am visionary?

The art of an apology

Therianthropy for retards

Welcome to Oblivion, May take your hat and coat?

SNARL HISS *GROWL

GAAAHHHH falls of cliff